I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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