morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
