Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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