i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
