..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
