I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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