so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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