it hurts more in the daytime
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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