Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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