i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
