don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
