But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
