just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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