next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize