I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
