butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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