so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
