okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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