i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
