the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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