Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
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i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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