oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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