If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
