it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
