it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
