He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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