Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
