I just saw a hot homeless man
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize