I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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