you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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