Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
