I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
