I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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