Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
