After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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