i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize