remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bring money and cleavage
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"