I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Canadian or clown?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit