If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
