I will die if light touches me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.