Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize