why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
