...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
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I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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