i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've blown a few things in my day
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
