At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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