my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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