Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.

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  (860): The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't. http://tfl.nu/pwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (1012)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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  (303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (485)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i puked in the mini-firdge

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we don't have a mini-fridge?

  (917): View more from New York City

  bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that

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  (917): i puked in the mini-firdge (201): we don't have a mini-fridge? (917): bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that http://tfl.nu/0lys
  Replies (4) Good night (3096) Bad night (730)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14845) Bad night (1820)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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  (732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3
  Replies (12) Good night (3639) Bad night (1051)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it

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  (847): If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it http://tfl.nu/cx6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2127) Bad night (616)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
  Replies (16) Good night (1763) Bad night (459)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  (304): All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time. http://tfl.nu/z2dh
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (344)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

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  (727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko
  Replies (5) Good night (1700) Bad night (543)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.

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  (757): you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR. http://tfl.nu/zp8x
  Replies (8) Good night (1720) Bad night (392)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"

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  (630): you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE" http://tfl.nu/9i9s
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (330)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that

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  (631): My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that http://tfl.nu/insc
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (277)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.

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  (601): At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by. http://tfl.nu/1wlf
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (329)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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  (617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (276)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..

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  (720): Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now.. http://tfl.nu/5bpm
  Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (345)

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