Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
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She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping