i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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