Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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