spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
