I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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