I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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