They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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