can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize