wrigley field is MILF paradise
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
