Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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