one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
