take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
