I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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