So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Edward fifth and chaser hands
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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