He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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