you win again, gameday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
