nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
